1. |
A Walk
00:57
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And I hoped you'd go for a walk
So I don't have to feel your acts
There were times I felt your presence
You, waiting for me to fall away
It's always fine just for a while
Hold out for my thrills, I guess
Isn't that the reason you are
Stuck in my mind anyways?
So I hoped you'd go for a walk
And maybe never come back
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2. |
Feel Your Acts
02:11
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There was this gate
Into my persecution
Built of curiosity
Now it's built of nothing
It was never about finding a way
But the current state of mind
You'd like to fall
You want it
Aside
There's not much left to be part of
And the cause is meant to rest inside
Close to find out
I brought this on myself
Whatever it is I feel, it needs to go away
It'd be so easy to cope with
But it clearly wants to stay
Pathetic
Conflicting
So why do I have the need to care?
It's always the struggle
Then the thoughts
Followed by an accident
Because of you I feel worse
And also know it could be better
Pathetic
Conflicting
At the same time
With the best and the worst purpose
Reflected in my behavior
That's why I hoped you'd go for a walk
But you're still here waiting by my side
It's the jiff, the instant
That keeps me going and makes me hate you
Should I just wait then?
Take a rest?
When all there is is time…
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3. |
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How grateful I am to have you
And that you love me
I wish I could repay you
I wish I could feel the same for you
How grateful I am to have you
But the question is for how long
How many of the people I know now
Will I never have a chance to see again
Is NOW already too late?
Or maybe too early to know
That the last time I saw you
Was really the last time
It was really the last time
And your faces will become silhouettes
Blurry and faded
In the past
'Cause the past is just a vision
I've never expected the world to stay the same
But how could I get used to the feeling
One day you'll be gone
But I guess that's all I can do
To get used to it
How grateful I am to have you
But sometimes
I just wanna be somewhere else
As if I should be scared to do anything
And in the meantime
Not to lose anyone
Just 'cause I was late
And your faces will become silhouettes
Blurry and faded
In the past
'Cause the past is just a vision
I've never expected the world to stay the same
But how could I get used to the feeling
One day you'll be gone
How grateful I am to have you
'Cause you are my life
And when I'm old
Everyone I know is gone
Just 'cause I was late
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4. |
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I'll save the last bit of this moment for later
In case I ever change
I said I'd never become this walking
I'll save the last bit of this moment for later
In case I ever change
I said I'd never become this walking disappointment
The times I couldn't decide what to say
The ones I knew I lied
Adjusting to impress
To get to the point I wanted
On a full scale
Cause there's some truth in every lie
Then I need to keep
Hiding everything
Everything real inside
It can't be that bad, with a little truth supplement
Of my own
I'll save the last bit of this moment for later
In case I ever change
I said I'd never become this walking disappointment
I'll save the last bit of this moment for later
In case I ever change
I said I'd never become this walking disappointment
Cause there's some truth in every lie
And this won't stop
Until I say
Until I get what I really want
Until I know what I really want
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5. |
Always Fine
03:55
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I remember everything
The trees, their motion
Water dripping into the slush alongside the road
Sometimes I would breathe out to see the steam coming out
Just to imagine being there
With you
I knew it was the face I remembered
But it was different
We all knew it was different
So we would just talk not to think about what was really happening
Not to show the feelings
Not to show what we all know
I would tell you you're right
Even though I wouldn't believe it
Just to cheer you up
Just to keep you up
That time
Nothing except this made sense
No friends, no needs, it was just all WE share.
Despite all this you knew why I didn't come so often
I just couldn't see you like this
You knew it
We both knew it
I would tell you you're right
Even though I wouldn't believe it
Just to cheer you up
Just to keep you up
Is there any difference
Between what I know
What I remember
And what I can't forget?
When it all goes wrong as it was already planned
But I'd still do it cause I needed to comprehend
Something that I couldn't change
Something I had to be part of
Why does it happen so quickly
But lasts so long?
Is there the light later on?
Is there any of something?
No, there's probably nothing
But it lasts so long
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6. |
Just for a While
03:17
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I said I'd do everything to find out how it feels like
And I meant it
At the moment I meant it
I just
I didn't want to lie
I wanted to start screaming
But I couldn't make a sound
And I still meant it
How rotten I feel inside
Just pretend to feel sorry for me
So I can come out
And find out
How useless you see me in your eyes
While there's this liquid in mine
Is it bad that I wanna feel fine?
Is it bad that I wanna feel something?
Joy, sorrow, just let me in
I wouldn't mind from time to time
Next time
There will be no next time
Or maybe
That's how I think I wanna look like
In front of you
You remember when I said I didn't wanna lie?
But before all this I didn't even wanna die
Was it finally too much to handle?
Cause I'm still alive
So pretend you feel sorry for me
Then I can come out
And find out
How useless you see me in your eyes
While there's this liquid in mine
Is it bad that I wanna feel fine?
Is it bad that I wanna feel something?
Joy, sorrow just let me in
I wouldn't mind from time to time
Was I forced to be mean?
I suppose I can't get enough
I just wanted to talk 'bout my future
That's all
Was I forced to be mean?
I suppose I can't get enough
I just wanted to talk 'bout my future
Is it bad that I wanna feel fine?
Is it bad that I wanna feel something?
I've never had so many thoughts in my head
This look at myself makes me sick
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7. |
Hold Out
04:22
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I'm just losing time
With my hesitance
As if I'll never learn to speak when I should
Then the time stops
Showing me everything I've ever wanted to be
Until I'll have to face it
Until I'll do what should be done
The affliction
Is it the thing that I deserve?
Could be all I need to be me
Maybe even what I want
But it's definitely my own creation and it ends really soon
What if it ends really soon?
Maybe it ends right now
I hope it ends
Right
Now
Just wait for another life
Just wait for another life
Maybe it will end one time
But I just needed a break
I need so many breaks it breaks me again and makes me worthless
And I stare like I've never had a soul
To the world I know
So I listen
And I try not to be offensive as I usually am
But people still talk to me and I don't really know what to answer
And again I stare, I feel, I speak, I think
I think about how many times will I have to break down to get things right
Nothing makes sense anymore
And it's my last chance to show some decency
I know I can talk when I wanna
I know I can leave when I wanna
But I can't really do anything
When I only have the courage to be a coward
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8. |
Thrills
03:32
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Is there something that waits for me?
Is there something I'll regret to see when I'm older and I'll have to recede
Into the background
And how much time will I still be around?
Not as a person but as what I've done in my life
The opportunity is in the air
There's still so much of that
And I gave up already
I enjoy things sometimes
Even my life sometimes
But I see
What my life could be like
I could have a thousand faces
For me it's the way to know myself better
Or at least to feel better in the company around
Then the time comes around and I see
What I'm looooosiiiiing
At one point it never gets different and I die
With so many questions left on my mind
When does life really end?
Is it after death or is it way sooner?
I know I can only see the negatives
But what if it never gets better?
I hate myself for the things I haven't done
But do they really matter?
Will I have the guts to do them though?
Will I?
Ever?
I guess I'll do them later
But what about the things I HAVE done?
Will I mend them later?
After all this comes the time
When people will stop talking to me seriously
And I won't have a chance to change it back anymore
Despair
You're getting old
The opportunity is in the air
There's still so much of that
And I gave up already
I enjoy things sometimes
Even my life sometimes
But I see
What my life could be like
Sometimes
I just can't get over my sadness
Sometimes I hate the others
Even though they are my friends
I don't really wanna end up like this
Fighting reconciliation with fabricated happiness
I know I'm not empty
But I'm scared to look inside
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9. |
Guess
03:11
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What will I find inside?
About myself about what I could get rid of
A brief talk, while standing silent
Maybe even in my sleep
And I thought
I could be honest
At least to myself
So what will I find inside
Something I could throw away
Cause without the things I hate about myself, I wouldn't be anymore
So what will I find?
My insecurities
Leading to destruction
Do I have a chance
To cover it all?
Or should I be able able to put forth
What I refuse to delve in
No courage
Just deception
With no intention to blend in
But it's part of the proces
It doesn't scare me at all
It doesn't scare me at all
I can't stop browsing in my thoughts
But I want to know more
So what will I find?
My insecurities
Leading to destruction
Do I have a chance
To cover it all?
Or should I be able able to put forth
What I refuse to delve in?
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10. |
Reason
03:31
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As if all I've done was shameful
Or is it really not that bad?
And yet I'm worried
Every time my worst thoughts are behind my back
And they're closer and closer every step I don't look back
Do you feel paranoid?
Do you feel paranoid?
I need to stop listening what's in my head
Do you feel paranoid?
Or it's never gonna turn back
Do you feel paranoid?
Because I do all the time
Right
In the middle of a no time
Yet they strike right on time
Right on time
Things I've never wanted to happen
And they feel so intense
They don't even happen
But it feels like they do
You might call them fable
Then what's the point to
Run
Away
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11. |
Anyways
03:31
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I could be the book of bad manners
But what's the real world?
To you… to the others
It's not like I didn't care too much
Maybe it's because I care too much
You just called me reasonable
But I
I call it dissembler
The close distance
Was just a tiny little lie
That we're living in
I know it hurts
To hurt someone else
But that's what I'm really like
At least
We
Feel alive
Or is it not like that?
I think It's just like that
I know you feel disgusted
Just because of what I am
Or what I've become
Or maybe... I was just like this the whole time
The close distance
Is just a tiny little lie
That we're living in
I know it hurts
To hurt someone else
But that's what I'm really like
Yes I lie
I lie so fucking much sometimes
Despite I'm so afraid of ending up alone
Far from the truth that I doubt
Why you're still around
I did it myself a million times
And I'll do it again
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12. |
The Walk
01:17
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13. |
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I don't really care about how it used to be
I just wanna be alone
At last
I'm sick of trying for nothing
Isn't it great to be alive?
But who would miss me when I'm not?
I mean… Where's the purpose?
I don't feel useful
But I still have to survive
Maybe one day…
One day I'll look back and see what I did wrong
Or if what I did really WAS wrong
Sometimes it's easier to hide behind an obstacle instead of jumping over
But now
This is my time to spend
I don't wanna let it all just disappear
So you love your life
Everyone included
But you're incompetent of living it
Even if it's with someone else
And I was waiting for my relevance
The pathos
How I really am needed
That's why I consider myself selfish
That's why I tried to start over again
Cause my life is the last time I can feel alive
But the day will come
And I'll find out
That this time
Is the right time to leave
But maybe I just wanna live
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Brighter Days Czechia
Prague, Czech Republic
www.facebook.com/BrighterDaysCZ/
Hummus, fries, beans and WALK.
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